Few years ago my opinion about homelessness was very, let’s say “traditional”, they only helped me to get rid of the change in my pockets; Always applying my perspectives of life to them, in a way that they always got a bad grade in my evaluation. But one day while at a traffic light I saw this person selling a paper and using a t-shirt of the Homeless Voice, there I went, ranting on how this person is wasting his time and the slim probabilities of moving his life ahead just selling a paper, “C’mon go to college, get a career.” Then my wife looked at me and told me these simple words, “Do you think they don’t know that? They’re probably measuring their lives by the hour, every hour at work is a victory, and they are doing what they can.” Those words unveiled an area of the problem that I never thought before. From there I started educating myself about the problem, reading statistics on the internet, studies that gave me a better idea of the complexity of Homelessness that made me change my initial opinion. Some time after, I started noticing a man who would stand by the curb on the SW 8 St in Miami, every morning as if he was waiting for something or somebody. By his appearance he was sleeping on the street, he was all dirty, with a big set of hair and barb, then I realized that he was living nearby, on the side of the canal, using a small tree as shelter.
I passed him many times before I got the courage to approach him, sometimes when the traffic let my window align with him I could nod at him a “Hi”; he’d look at me without responding, more like not knowing what I was meaning.
First Strike: à la carte
One morning while buying breakfast at Burger King for my son, I decided to get an extra sandwich for the guy on the curb. After dropping my son at school I rushed to meet with my future friend, I did everything else like every morning and when my truck got to him at the curb, I said “Hi!”, he looked at me but didn’t answer, I said “Are you Ok?” He replied “Yes”. Then I said, “Look this is for you” and showed him the Burger King bag, and he said, “No thank you, I don’t eat that food, I don’t like it.” I said “Oh! Ok, it’s ok. What is your name?” He looked at me like thinking but didn’t answer; I said again ‘Do you have a name? My name is Luis”, then he said “I’m Joseph”, by that time the traffic light came to green and our meeting was over, I said bye and drove away. I couldn’t believe that he just refused my food, I was sad, because my attempt to directly help somebody was a failure At the same time I felt happy for that first contact, that without a doubt was more important for me than for Joseph.
Second Strike: I didn’t see that coming
In the next few days I saw him standing there but for some reason the traffic light was green every time, so no time to chat, somehow I felt relieved because I wasn’t ready for a second contact, not yet. About a week later, again, my truck had to stop next to him and I realized that I had to improvise something, I said, “Hi Joseph”, he said “Hi”, then I looked at my jacket lying on the passenger side, it was a new jacket, my new jacket, but exactly because of that I said, “Hey Joseph, you want a jacket?; This jacket?” And showed it to him, he looked to his shoulders like making sure that he was wearing a jacket and told me “No, I have a jacket”. Again the light went green but my mind was all dark, “What was that?” Why he wouldn’t take my jacket? I couldn’t believe it. I felt insulted by him not letting me be of help. Few days passed and my frustration started to fade away; I purposely was avoiding him staying in the lane away from the curb. But one morning, when I passed him he didn’t look, but right before I turned on the corner I looked on my rearview mirror and saw him looking to my truck with that expression when you see a familiar face surrounded by strangers, at that moment I thought: He also cares about me. Maybe he thinks of me like the guy on the green truck that offers me things that I don’t need, and that’s ok with me.
Third Strike: Freedom!
Freedom!
A couple of weeks passed and I decided to play it safe, when the moment came I said “Hi Joseph, How are you?” He didn’t answer. I said then, “Listen this is for you”, while extending a five dollars bill to him. He looked at it while still in my hand and asked me “Can I use it anywhere?” “Of course, it’s yours, here” I said, and he took it. Traffic light turned green and I drove away,
I saw him a couple of weeks more and then my son’s summer vacations started so I stopped driving in that area. I have see him a few times since from some distance, he moved his place because government employees applied chemicals to burn the vegetation in that area next to the canal and the small tree that Joseph used as cover, disappeared.
For it is in giving that we receive
Sometimes we think that we know the answers for everything, but it takes only a slight contact with reality to realize how little we know. Helping others requires more than something to give, we need to make sure to have what is needed. The most important part of helping is in recognizing the need, and that takes a lot of work and involvement. Joseph wasn’t there asking for anything but I assumed that I had to give him something, I felt like it wasn’t enough to greet him with a smile every morning
At the end, I realized I wasn’t ready for Joseph; I wasn’t ready to share a simple friendship in equality with him. I can say today that my friend Joseph didn’t get from me what he needed, but certainly he gave me the lesson that I needed. Thank you Joseph.
Luis Salazar February 2009